funny one liners

• A old woman calls the Police department and says: I have a Sex Maniac in my apartment. Pick him up in the morning!

• The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to : Hang Till Death !

• Why are condoms transparent? So that sperms can atleast enjoy the scene, even if their entry is restricted...!

• Every married man keeps wondering every evening: Should I go out and look at what I cannot fuck or....Stay home and fuck what I cannot look at....

• How do you define a virgin? On the Verge but not in!

• Why do men get circumcised? Because women will GRAB anything with 20% off!! • Q: What does a nymphomaniac chicken sound like? A: Fuck-fuck-fuck...... fuck-fuck-fuck. • A man is taking a woman home after their first date. When they get to her door, he asks if he can come inside. Woman: Absolutely not. I never ask a guy to come in on the first date. Th Man: All right then how about on the last date? • A man raced into to the gents toilets in a pub, ran up to the urinal, whipped out his 12 inch dick and said with a sigh of relief, "Phew, just made it!" The man next to him, looked over and said, "Pretty impressive, could you make me one too!" • Doctors have discovered that most single women can't fart. Apparently, they don't have an asshole until they get married to one. • What's the difference between a thin prostitute and a counterfeit note? One is a phony buck and the other is a boney fuck. • What advice does the doctor give to sick prostitutes? Stay out of BED for two days.