Five rules for men to follow for a happy life

clipped from clearwatersun.org Five rules for men to follow for a happy life      1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.      2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.      3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.      4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.      5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other Why You Should See Your Opto-Proctologist A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because She is not feeling well.       'What's the matter?' he asks.      I have a case of anal glaucoma,' she says in a weak voice.      'What the hell is anal glaucoma?'      'I can't see my ass coming into work today!'   A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.  Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.  That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!